Book Reviews

The Way Of A Superior Man by David Deida -Book Notes, Summary, and Review

17. The Way Of A Superior Man - David Deida

Get it on Amazon

Rating: 8/10

Date of reading: 24th – 26th of April, 2018

Description: How to become a man in the cruel today’s world. The line which separates an asshole who is always taking the win-lose situation from a good guy who is always taking the lose-win is tiny. And this book provides the way on how to dance on that tiny line. This should be a kind of a bible for men everywhere. 

 

My notes:

 

INTRODUCTION

 

“The love may still be strong, the friendship may still be strong, but the sexual polarity fades, unless in moments of intimacy one partner is willing to play the masculine pole and one partner is willing to play the feminine.” ( :16)

“For some people who have what I call a more balanced sexual essence, sexual polarity doesn’t really matter. They don’t really want much passion in intimacy. They don’t want a loving tussle full of sexual inspiration and innuendo. They would rather have a civilized friendship full of love and human sharing without the passionate ups and downs. And for these people, this book will be irrelevant, possibly even offensive. This book is written specifically for people who have a more masculine sexual essence, and their lovers, who will have a more feminine sexual essence since you always attract your sexual reciprocal. These people can’t help but be attracted into relationships based on difference, for better or for worse.” ( :17)

“Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, if you want to experience deep spiritual and sexual fulfillment, you must know your natural sexual essence—masculine, feminine, or balanced—and live true to it. You can’t deny your true sexual essence by covering it with layers of false energy for years and then expect to know your authentic purpose and be free in the flow of love.” ( :18)

“When these polarities are lessened due to family and work obligations, sexual attraction is diminished, along with” ( :18)

“spiritual depth and physical health.” ( :19)

“If you have a masculine sexual essence then you would probably admit, if you were being brutally honest, that your intimate relationship is just not as important to you as the “mission” in your life—but you still want a full and energetic intimate relationship, perhaps quite badly. How do you deal with this often misunderstood dilemma?” ( :19)

“It is time to evolve beyond the macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart. It is also time to evolve beyond the sensitive and caring wimp ideal, all heart and no spine.” ( :20)

 

Part One
A Man’s Way

 

“The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way.” ( :23)

“Most postponements are excuses for a lack of creative discipline. Limited money and family obligations have never stopped a man who really wanted to do something, although they provide excuses for a man who is not really up to the creative challenge in the first place.” ( :23)

“To act as a superior man, a samurai of relationship, you must feel the entire situation with your whole body. A closed body is unable to sense subtle cues and signals, and therefore unable to act with mastery in the situation.” ( :25)

“A man must love his father and yet be free of his father’s expectations and criticisms in order to be a free man.” ( :26)

“The more a man is playing his real edge, the more valuable he is as good company for other men, the more he can be trusted to be authentic and fully present. Where a man’s edge is located is less important than whether he is actually living his edge in truth, rather than being lazy or deluded.” ( :27)

“Your friends will feel your fear, even if you do not. Thus, they will lose trust in you, knowing you are deluding yourself, lying to yourself, and are therefore likely to lie to them, consciously or unconsciously.” ( :27)

“All men are afraid, unless they are perfectly free. If you cannot admit this, you are pretending to yourself, and to others. Your friends will feel your fear, even if you do not. Thus, they will lose trust in you, knowing you are deluding yourself, lying to yourself, and are therefore likely to lie to them, consciously or unconsciously.” ( :27)

“As an experiment, describe your edge with respect to your career out loud to yourself. Say something like, “I know I could be earning more money, but I am too lazy to put in the extra hours it would take. I know that I could give more of my true gift, but I am afraid that I may not succeed, and then I will be a penniless failure. I’ve spent 15 years developing my career, and I’m afraid to let go of it and start fresh, even though I know that I spend most of my life doing things I have no real interest in doing. I could be making money in more creative ways, but I spend too much time watching TV rather than being creative.”” ( :28)

“Use aids to support your relaxation into, and creation from, this source. Read books that remind you of who you are, in truth. Spend time with people who inspire you and reflect the source to you. Meditate, contemplate, or pray daily so that you steep yourself in the source.” ( :29)

“If a woman suggests something that changes a man’s perspective, then he should make a new decision based on his new perspective. But he should never betray his own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or “go along” with her. Both she and he will be weakened by such an action. They will grow to resent each other, and the crust of accumulated inauthenticity will burden their love, as well as their capacity for free action.” ( :31)

“You should always listen to your woman, and then make your own decision.” ( :31)

“”I don’t trust my own wisdom.” You are weakening yourself by telling yourself this. You are weakening your woman’s trust in you: why should she trust your wisdom if you don’t?” ( :31)

“However, if you give up your real decision to follow your woman’s, then you will blame her for being wrong if she is wrong, and you will feel disempowered if she is right, having denied yourself the” ( :31)

“opportunity to act from your core and grow from your mistakes” ( :32)

“Admit to yourself that if you had to choose one or the other, the perfect intimate relationship or achieving your highest purpose in life, you would choose to succeed at your purpose.” ( :33)

“Admit to yourself that if you had to choose one or the other, the perfect intimate relationship or achieving your highest purpose in life, you would choose to succeed at your purpose. Just this selfknowledge often relieves much pressure a man feels to prioritize his relationship when, in fact, it is not his highest priority.” ( :33)

“Your mission is your priority.” ( :33)

“The next time you notice yourself “giving in” to your woman, postponing your mission and denying your true purpose in order to spend time with her, stop. Tell your woman that you love her, but you cannot deny your heart’s purpose. Tell her that you will spend 30 minutes (or some specific time) with her in absolute attention and total presence, but then you must return to carry on your mission.” ( :33)

“our woman will be more fulfilled with 30 minutes a day of undivided attention and ravishing love than she will with a few hours of your weak and divided presence when your heart really isn’t into it. Time you spend with your woman should be time you really want to be with her more than anything else. If you’d rather be doing something else, she’ll feel it. Both of you will be dissatisfied.” ( :33)

“The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.” ( :35)

“There are two ways to deal with woman and world without compromising your true gifts or dribbling away the force of your deep being. One way is to renounce sexual intimacy and worldliness, totally dedicating yourself without distraction or compromise to the path you choose to pursue, free of the seemingly constant demands of woman and world. The other way is to “fuck” both to smithereens, to ravish them with your love unsheathed, to give your true gifts despite the constant tussle of woman and world, to smelt your authentic gifts in this friction of opposition and surrender, to thrust love from the freedom of your deep being even as your body and mind die blissfully through a crucifixion of inevitable pleasure and pain, attraction and repulsion, gain and loss. No gifts left ungiven. No limit to the depth of being. Only openness, freedom, and love as the legacy of your intercourse with woman and world.” ( :36)

“A man’s capacity to receive another man’s direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy. If he doesn’t have a good relationship to masculine energy (e.g., his father), then he will act like a woman and be hurt or defensive rather than make use of other men’s criticism.” ( :37)

“About once a week, you should sit down with your closest men friends and discuss what you are doing in your life and what you are afraid of doing.” ( :37)

“”I want to have an affair with Denise, but I don’t want to hurt my wife. I’m afraid of her finding out,” you might say. “You’ve been talking about Denise now for six months. You are wasting your life energy on this fantasy. You should either have sex with her by tomorrow night, or drop the whole thing and never talk about it again,” your friends might say, challenging your hesitation and mediocrity.” ( :37)

“Your close men friends should be willing to challenge your mediocrity by suggesting a concrete action you can perform that will pop you out of your rut, one way or the other. And you must be willing to offer them your brutal honesty, in the same way, if you are all to grow. Good friends should not tolerate mediocrity in one another. If you are at your edge, your men friends should respect that, but not let you off the hook. They should honor your fears, and, in love, continue to goad you beyond them, without pushing you.” ( :37)

“If you merely want support from your men friends without challenge, it bespeaks an unresolved issue you may have with your father, whether he is alive or dead. The father force is the force of loving challenge and guidance. Without this masculine force in your life, your direction becomes unchecked, and you are liable to meander in the mush of your own ambiguity and indecision.” ( :37)

“You should be able to trust that these friends will tell you about your life as they see it, offer you a specific action which will shed light on your own position, and give you the support necessary to live in the freedom just beyond your edge, which is not always, or even usually, comfortable.” ( :38)

“Disconnected from your core, you feel weak. This empty feeling will undermine not only your “erection” in the world, but your erection with your woman, too.” ( :39)

“Perhaps your father was a fireman, so you wanted to be a fireman. Or, in reaction to him, you’ve decided to be an arsonist.” ( :40)

“If your deepest purpose is to meditate and realize God, you might find that before you can totally dedicate yourself to this practice you must work your way through the concentric circles of playing with sexual partners, using drugs, getting married, raising children, developing a career, and finally, having dissolved your fascination and need to do all of that, getting down to the business of fulltime meditation.” ( :40)

“Among the signs of fulfilling or completing a layer of purpose are these: 1. You suddenly have no interest whatsoever in a project or mission that, just previously, motivated you highly. 2. You feel surprisingly free of any regrets whatsoever, for starting the project or for ending it. 3. Even though you may not have the slightest idea of what you are going to do next, you feel clear, unconfused, and, especially, unburdened. 4. You feel an increase in energy at the prospect of ceasing your involvement with the project. 5. The project seems almost silly, like collecting shoelaces or wallpapering your house with gas station receipts. Sure, you could do it, but why would you want to?” ( :41)

“Don’t go out drinking beer with your friends every night or start dating a bunch of women. Simply wait. You may wish to go on a retreat in a remote area and be by yourself. Whatever it is you decide to do, consciously keep yourself open and available to receiving a vision of what is next. It will come. When it comes, it usually won’t be a detailed vision. You will probably have a sense of what direction to move in, but the practical steps might not make themselves clear.” ( :42)

“Don’t go out drinking beer with your friends every night or start dating a bunch of women. Simply wait. You may wish to go on a retreat in a remote area and be by yourself. Whatever it is you decide to do, consciously keep yourself open and available to receiving a vision of what is next. It will come. When it comes, it usually won’t be a detailed vision. You will probably have a sense of what direction to move in, but the practical steps might not make themselves clear. When the impulse begins to arise, act on it. Don’t wait for the details. Learn by trial and error what it is you are to do.” ( :42)

“For instance, perhaps you were a stockbroker and then finished that particular layer of purpose. You saved up some money, so now you are waiting for a vision of your next layer. After three weeks of” ( :42)

“This self-resignation will communicate itself to your woman and your children. They will feel your weakness. Your woman will begin to take charge more than she really wants, since you are clearly not capable of taking charge yourself, and someone has to do it. Your children will challenge your capacity to discipline them, since they can feel your own lack of authentic self-discipline. Try as you might, once you have negated your own deep purpose, your household will become a place where everybody tests your capacity to stand your ground, and you will lose.” ( :43)

“Children learn most from their parents by osmosis. If their father is subtly weakened and compromised, this will flavor their experience of his love. Just as you did with your father, your children will unconsciously replicate or react to the emotional taste they absorb from you. Your essential emotional tone—at ease in your deepest purpose or fearful in the ambiguity of your intent—becomes part of your children’s home.” ( :44)

“It is not the amount of time but the quality of the interaction that most influences a child’s growth. Children are exquisitely sensitive to emotional tone. If you are not full in your core, aligned with your deepest purpose and living a life of authentic commitment, your children will feel it.” ( :44)

“Then, when you are with your family, you are with them totally, since there is no chronically unfinished business in your life to distract you, and no inner ambiguity about where you want to be or what you really want to be doing.” ( :44)

“man should never think his woman’s testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness. Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.” ( :47)

“Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration.” ( :47)

“Why is she being this way? Because she simply wants to deflate your success? No. She is challenging you because your success doesn’t mean shit to her, unless you are free and loving. And if you are free and loving, nothing she says can collapse you. She wants to feel you are uncollapsable, so she pokes you in your weak spot.” ( :48)

“She wants to feel your strength. She wants to feel that your happiness is not dependent on her response, nor on you making a million dollars. She wants to feel you are a superior man.” ( :48)

 

Part Two
Dealing With Women

 

“A man’s word is his honor. The feminine says what it feels. A woman’s word is her true expression in the moment.” ( :51)

“You might ask her, “Do you want to go to the movies?” She might reply, “Not really.” Then you hug her and spin her around and say, “Let’s go to the movies!” And she says, “OK!”” ( :51)

“The “truth” of the feminine is whatever she is really feeling, in this present moment.” ( :52)

“The masculine grows by challenge, but the feminine grows by praise. A man must be unabashed and expressed in his appreciation for his woman. Praise her freely.” ( :53)

“Only the masculine side of your woman will grow through challenge. The feminine side thrives on support and praise. Telling her, “I love the shape of your body,” will be much greater incentive for her to exercise than telling her, “I hope you don’t gain any more weight.”” ( :53)

“Praising the things you really enjoy when she exercises will magnify her exercising. On the other hand, by telling her why she should exercise, you are indicating that she is not acceptable to you the way she is. Praise works. Information doesn’t. Praise motivates. Challenge doesn’t. Try it. Praise specific things you love about your woman 5-10 times a day. Find out what happens.” ( :53)

“Intimacy is about growing more than you could by yourself, through the art of mutual gifting.” ( :54)

“The amazing thing is this: 90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved. So don’t stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client. Give her your love—the same love that is motivating your questioning—immediately and unmistakably.” ( :56)

“The next time your woman is in a bad mood, try this: Assume she is not feeling loved. Simply assume it, even if it seems that it can’t be that simple, that there must be some underlying reason for her upsetness, a reason that you could fix. Assume she is more like a flower that needs watering than an engine that needs a carburetor adjustment. Don’t assume anything is wrong at all. Assume that she wants love from you, in a deep, strong, steady, and sensitive way.” ( :57)

“”You’ve got 30 minutes to pack your bags. Don’t ask me where we’re going, but we’ll be gone for the weekend. Everything is taken care of. Just pack your bags, and leave the rest to me. I’m going to give you the best birthday you’ve ever had.”” ( :58)

“ne of the deepest feminine desires in intimacy (though not in business or simple friendship) is to be able to relax and surrender, knowing that her man is taking care of everything.” ( :58)

“One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman’s emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trust ability, and she can relax.” ( :60)

“Your woman asks you for your input, and you say, “Whatever you want to do is fine with me.” This is the statement of a friend, not a lover.” ( :62)

“She might feel into it, and do what feels best to her, which would be a feminine style of making a decision. Or, she might be trying to make a decision based on the different possible outcomes of her choices, which would be a masculine style.” ( :63)

 

Part Three
Working With Polarity And Energy

 

“If you are like most men, you probably hide the amount of sexual attraction you feel toward women every day. At work, on the street, and in the grocery store, you see women that turn you on. Sometimes you might want to have sex with them. But many times the feeling is more of a wave of refreshment washing through you. Seeing an especially radiant woman can fill your whole day with delight. A woman’s exquisite scent can transport you to an enchanted paradise. A woman’s smile can melt the moment into sheer beatitude.” ( :66)

“Music, beer, nature, women, they are all forms of feminine energy.” ( :66)

“The nature of nature is polarity, from the magnetism that flows between the north and south poles of the earth, to the attraction that flows between your masculine core and the feminine radiance of a woman.” ( :66)

“If you feel it is demeaning for a woman to be the “object” of your polar” ( :66)

“attraction, then you have probably disowned your masculine core.” ( :67)

“Any negative attitude you have about your attraction to women is a sign of fear; somewhere along the line you learned that such attraction was “bad” or “evil.” Your attraction to women, all kinds of women, is natural, normal, and beautiful. In fact, it is an aspect of the same desire that will ultimately lead you toward spiritual freedom.” ( :67)

“If you are a man with a masculine sexual essence, you will always feel sexual polarity with anyone who animates feminine energy. You may feel this attraction many times a day, with many women. Enjoy it. Women are a blessing!” ( :67)

“Whereas the zing of attraction is a choiceless natural flow of energy between your masculine core and feminine energy,” ( :67)

“For instance, a more masculine man can expect that any woman who really turns him on and enlivens him will also be relatively wild, undisciplined, “bonkers,” chaotic, prone to changing her mind and “lying.”” ( :68)

“Although you may love these women and enjoy spending time with them, they don’t arouse your passion as much as the women whose words you wouldn’t trust to remain true for an afternoon, but who move their body in a way that drives you wild.” ( :68)

“The more you seek a woman who gives you everything, the less you get of anything. Business skills are for the most part masculine skills (in both men and women). Friendship, in itself, is a neutral, nonsexual matter. And sexual passion requires a clear polarity between your masculine core and your woman’s feminine energy. When you don’t prioritize the purpose of your relationship, these different energies often cancel each other out, and you are left with a sexually neutralized alliance.” ( :72)

“50” ( :72)

“Because you expect your intimate relationship to serve so many purposes, it begins to veer toward the utilitarian. By constantly talking about finances, work, household, and children, you turn your woman into a neutral companion.” ( :73)

“Because you expect your intimate relationship to serve so many purposes, it begins to veer toward the utilitarian. By constantly talking about finances, work, household, and children, you turn your woman into a neutral companion. You become so familiar with each other that the mystery of sexual enchantment becomes standardized into the ritual mechanics of kiss, stroke, lick, pump, spurt, and snore. You begin to long for the depth of desire you once felt with your woman. Domesticity replaces mystery, and talk replaces tumble.” ( :73)

“If you want your woman to be your spiritual and sexual consort, not just your housemate, you must skillfully maintain your household and livelihoods so that the potency of your union is not diminished. She can be the mother of your children as well as your business partner, as long as these functions do not cut into the primacy of your purpose: to serve one another’s enlightenment through your unwavering commitment to love, and to enliven one another’s core by the bodily transmission of love via sexual polarity.” ( :73)

“Even if you are totally fulfilled by the sex you share with your woman, you probably still desire sex with other women.” ( :74)

“Even if you are totally fulfilled by the sex you share with your woman, you probably still desire sex with other women. Your desire for other women is not a reflection of any lack in your intimacy, it is a reflection of your nature as a masculine sexual being.” ( :74)

“But this desire is not an excuse for promiscuity, any more than your enjoyment of TV is an excuse for becoming an obese couch potato.” ( :74)

“It’s your call. Just remember that self-discipline is not self-suppression. Suppression is when you resist and fight against your desires, keeping them as buried and unexpressed as possible. Selfdiscipline is when your highest desires rule your lesser desires, not through resistance, but through loving action grounded in understanding and compassion.” ( :74)

“A hot woman who aroused his passion several years ago may irritate him now .A cooler woman who soothed his heart several years ago may seem tiresome to him now.” ( :78)

“Sometimes you can be with a beautiful woman who just doesn’t do it for you. You can see she is beautiful, you can understand why your friends find her attractive, but she just doesn’t suit your taste.” ( :78)

“Don’t confuse your energy needs with a commitment in love, though. Energy needs are relatively easy to balance. You can probably get the energy you need from a masseuse or a change in diet.” ( :80)

 

Part Four
What Women Really Want

 

“The priority of the masculine core is mission, purpose, or direction in life. The priority of the feminine core is the flow of love in intimacy.” ( :82)

“Sometimes a woman will make a request of her man in plain English, not to get him to do something, but to see if he is so weak that he will do it. In other words, she is testing his capacity to do what is right, not what she is asking for.” ( :83)

“”Yes, but I said that in order to feel that you were strong enough not to!”” ( :84)

“She won’t be disappointed if she feels you are strong and clear in the true direction of your heart. And if she is disappointed by your deepest truth, you shouldn’t be with her.” ( :84)

“The thing your woman is complaining about is rarely the thing she is complaining about.” ( :86)

“When she complains about financial issues, she is usually feeling a lack in your masculine capacity to direct your life with clarity, purpose, integrity, and wisdom. The money itself is secondary. If you were poor but totally conscious, happy, full of integrity, fearless, humorous, loving and giving your fullest gift to the world and to your woman, she wouldn’t complain about lack of money.” ( :86)

“A man’s highest purpose is his priority, not his intimacy. Your woman knows this. Deep inside, she really wants it to be this way.” ( :88)

“A man’s highest purpose is his priority, not his intimacy. Your woman knows this. Deep inside, she really wants it to be this way. The woman in the scene above would actually feel strange if her man suddenly said, “I’ve changed my mind. You are more important to me than the freedom of mankind. You are the most important thing in my life, and I don’t care if my service to humanity is needed elsewhere, so I’m staying here with you.”” ( :88)

“There is no use trying to mitigate her anger by referring to your great track record. To the feminine, history is irrelevant. What counts is the feeling in the moment. If you let her down now, it doesn’t matter that you haven’t let her down for months, or even years. Your past successes mean nothing to her present feeling of your failure.” ( :90)

“It means you need to know where you are heading and how you are going to get there, in every way, including financially and spiritually.” ( :92)

 

Part Five
Your Dark Side

 

“The essential masculine ecstasy is in the moment of release from constraint. This could occur when facing death and living through it, succeeding in (and thus being released from) your purpose, and in competition (which is ritual threat of death). The masculine is always seeking release from constraint into freedom. The feminine often doesn’t understand these masculine ways and needs.” ( :96)

“The post orgasmic state is one of death-like peace, an emptiness akin to a blissful oblivion. The masculine is always seeking this release in one way or another.” ( :96)

“Your woman surrendering to receive your strong love, or you lovingly “forcing” your woman to surrender into greater ecstasy, is the basis of ravishment.” ( :98)

“As an experiment, the next time you make love with your woman, feel through your own physical and emotional boundaries into her. Feel into her so deeply that you become unaware of yourself and totally aware of her. Feel yourself move into her, your boundaries dissolving so that you become her, utterly aware of her breath, her movements, her emotions.” ( :99)

“Fearlessness, or the capacity to transcend the fear of death for the sake of love, is a quintessential form of the ultimate masculine gift.” ( :101)

“Any of her energies that you are unable to transform into love through the force, clarity, and humor of your consciousness will return for you to face, again and again.” ( :103)

“Your body, tone of voice, and the look in your eyes mean a lot more to her than anything you could say. Don’t tell her what to do, but do it with her, with your body.” ( :104)

“Your body, tone of voice, and the look in your eyes mean a lot more to her than anything you could say. Don’t tell her what to do, but do it with her, with your body. If she is tense and closed down, lift her arms up above her head and kiss her heart. Don’t just tell her to open up. Actually open her up, physically, with the openness of your body.” ( :104)

“If your surrender into communion is not as strong as hers, she will return to the place of your limiting fear, your weak link, and test you there. If you collapse or react with unlove when she questions your financial ability, she will continue to do so. If you feel weakened when she questions your sexual ability, she will continue to do so, implicitly or explicitly.” ( :104)

 

Part Six
Feminine Attractiveness

 

“It is not time that kills delight, but familiarity, neutralization, and lack of purpose. Another man might find your woman to be quite a turn on even though she seems old-shoe to you. It may not be your woman who has worn out, but your capacity for desire.” ( :112)

“Over time, you actually begin to behave more sexually neutral with your woman than you do with other women you meet throughout the day.” ( :112)

“A superior man always assumes complete responsibility, knowing that, ultimately, he has no control at all and everything is out of his hands. He acts with impeccable courage and persistence, expecting nothing but the inherent feeling of completeness he enjoys in the fullest giving of his gift.” ( :112)

“Women can attract you, heal you, and inspire your gifts, but they will never satisfy you absolutely. Never. And you know this.” ( :114)

“Women are the epitome of appearance, all appearance, everything around you, potential and actual. And like women, all appearance seems to promise you something you want. You want success from your job. You want love from your woman. You want pleasure from your body. You want obedience from your dog. When you don’t get what you want—when you lose money, your woman hates you, your body is in pain, and your dog bites you—you are unhappy. When you do get what you want, you are less unhappy.” ( :115)

“Feel the need that drives you, for most of your adult life, to yearn for a woman, in flesh or in fantasy. And discover what it is you really want. You’ve had tit. You’ve had pussy. You’ve had nurturing. You’ve had wild passion. And none of it lasted. It wasn’t even that good as long as it did last. Your need is far deeper than any woman can provide. So what is it?” ( :115)

 

Part Seven
Body Practices

 

“If you have accumulated a lot of tension in your daily life, ejaculation will afford you with temporary release and relaxation. But as you live your life with more and more true purpose, you won’t accumulate so much tension during the day. Then, you will discover that ejaculation, for the most part, actually depletes and weakens you.” ( :118)

“The pleasures of this dissolution into love so far exceed the typical genital spurt that ejaculation is easily bypassed or postponed once a man and woman have expanded their sexual capacity.” ( :120)

“The technique for converting depletive orgasms into rejuvenative orgasms involves contracting the pelvic floor near the genitals and drawing energy upward along the spine, though the use of breath, feeling, and intention.” ( :125)

“Feel your partner more than you feel yourself. Feel her movement, her moans, and her internal energy.” ( :126)

“To practice this exercise, you must learn to consciously contract the muscles of the floor of your pelvis. This area includes your genitals, anus, and perineum, which is the space between your anus and genitals. This exercise of contracting your pelvic floor feels a lot like you are trying to stop yourself from going to the bathroom.” ( :126)

 

Part Eight
Men’s and Women’s Yoga of Intimacy

 

“Not so for you. If you have a masculine sexual essence, then your woman and children can be loving you all day and night, but if your career or mission is obstructed, you will not feel at ease. You won’t even want to share much intimate time with your woman until you have your career or mission back on track.” ( :130)

“If you are like most men, you know, deep down, that if you were to lose your present woman, you would deeply grieve, but you could eventually find another.” ( :131)

“Some men feel guilty for not being as “into” the relationship as their woman is. You must understand that this is natural.” ( :131)

“But a superior man will not settle for less than the fullest incarnation of love of which he and his woman are capable.” ( :136)

“”The divine way or the highway!”” ( :136)

“If your woman is chronically sharp with you, it is most likely a sign that, regardless of how successful you are outside of your intimacy, you are not aligning both of your lives with the highest truth.” ( :137)

“Every time you don’t complete your weekly goal, you owe your friends $100. If you don’t complete your yearly goal, you owe them $10,000.” ( :139)

“The point is, there must be a consequence for freezing in the face of fear.” ( :139)


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